Slowly but surely, the common myth held that sexual abuse happens to women is fading, but when a man is sexually assaulted or raped, and grows up believing that myth, he feels even more isolated and alone.
This page tackles a few issues that are rarely talked about, yet have a huge impact on almost all male survivors, and if left unsaid and sorted out, can stop them from recovering fully, leaving a residue of bad feelings and fears behind.
Some of the things that can trigger you off and leave you feeling as if you're back at the point of being abused are as follows The smell of others, especially aftershave or other body smells, can cause you to flashback and trigger bad memories
Many male survivors state that when having sex with a partner, that they feel dirty, and unclean once they have reached ejaculation, and this is connected to the sight, feel and sensation of seeing their semen, which reminds them of being abused, and that alone can ruin any sexual relationships they may have.
You may also feel wrong, bad and dirty, so will need to bathe often, usually after having sex with partners, and if masturbating, will only do so as a function, not for pleasure, because the sensation and good feelings have been taken away and you're left feeling dirty and 'wrong' again. There's also the fact that you can get obsessed with wanking, not just once a day, but several times a day, which can increase when you feel stressed, lonely, screwed up, etc.
Many male survivors hide behind the fact that they remain non sexual, and in doing so, are not seen as being sexual beings Others eat, drink, misuse drugs to stop people getting too close to them. By taking on the work that's needed, you can remove the ghosts of the past and you can regain control of your life.
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